Case Study:
Invisible Absence

  • In 1602, the Dutch established the Dutch East India Company (VOC) and became a dominant European power for almost 200 years. After ages of trade, the Netherlands established the Dutch East Indies as a nationalized colony which was one of the most valuable colonies under European rule and contributed to Dutch global prominence in spice and cash crop trade in the 19th and early 20th centuries. The Dutch exploited the native population and implemented a strong colonial social order that was based on rigid racial and social structures. The population was roughly divided into four groups: Europeans, Easterners - such as Chinese and Japanese landowners -, Indo-Europeans (the Indische community), and the indigenous people. Each group had its own status, with associated rights and obligations. In the early 20th century, when nationalism globally arose, local intellectuals began developing the concept of ‘Indonesia’ as a nation-state which set the stage for an independence movement. The Indo-European, or Indische, community thought differently about the Dutch rule than the local, Indonesian population. The latter rejected Dutch presence completely, while the Indische community stood open for collaboration with the Dutch. During the Second World War, the Japanese occupied the Dutch East Indies from 1942 until 1945. Both Dutch and Indo-European prisoners of war were imprisoned and tortured in Japanese internment camps, as well as in separate camps which existed for Dutch and Indo-European civilians. After the Second World War, on 17 August 1945, Soekarno declared Indonesian independence together with Mohammad Hatta. This resulted in a four-year guerrilla warfare for Indonesian independence against Dutch colonial rule in which Indonesian nationalists fought against the Dutch forces and pro-Dutch civilians. This was also the historical period known in Dutch history as ‘Politionele Acties’ (‘Police Actions’) in reference to the two major military offensives undertaken by the Netherlands on Java and Sumatra against the Republic of Indonesia. After four years of war, the Netherlands officially acknowledged Indonesia’s independence in 1949. Between 1945 and 1968, more than 300,000 Indische civilians (Indo-Europeans) migrated from the former Dutch East Indies to the Netherlands.

  • The most crucial object that has been passed down from my Indische feminine family line is absence. Mainly because of the lack of contact between elderly family members as well as the lack of interest in defining and identifying our roots, our stories and experiences have not been passed down. Perhaps my family was reluctant about the desire to stay attached to Indië because of a cultural behavior where things are not explicitly spoken but silently shared through actions and touch. Or perhaps the absence was created by different perceptions of reality, or the different personalities that made up my family. This absence, however, has been haunting me and constantly confronting me with all that I do not know much about. I started searching and questioning by talking to my grandmother, my niece, my uncle, and my mom about what they know: Where did my grandmother come from? How does my family feel about belonging? Slowly and because of these conversations, Indië became a bit more familiar to me and I now recognize certain gestures and have learned to cook sajoer lodeh. Sometimes I have feelings of belonging to Indië yet at other times I feel nothing at all, except for that diminishing absence which keeps triggering my strong desire to know where the women in my family come from.

    - Nicole

NICOLE
KUIPER

Nicole is wearing a top designed by Guave, a fashion label with a focus on Javanese batik, sustainability, and fair production. For more information, see: https://www.helloguave.com/

Video Credits: Julia van Braak, 2021.

Invisible Absence

A poem by Nicole Kuiper

The physical absence of my Indische family
left an invisible absence of Indië.

The invisible absence of Indië left
|a soft yet strong silence
which only now my ears can hear.

All my life
Indië had been there
in the color of my hair,
the smile of my mother,
the roots of my feminine family line
yet growing up it was never talked about
never mentioned out loud
it was felt perhaps while making lempers
with our Indonesian neighbours
but other than that there was mostly
invisible
absence.

As I grew older
changing girlhood for womanhood
people started to question my cultural identity
their questions made me look at myself differently
what was there that I had not seen?
how to perceive myself?

Indië also started reaching out to me
during a period of mental instability
no wonder I could not ground
if my feminine roots had been so
unknown
to me
stories and experiences shattered between the Netherlands and the former Dutch
colony
traumas unspoken about,
journeys not known about
how to make this heritage my own when
I don't even know what I am talking about?

So I reached out to my grandmother
my niece, uncle, and mom
I asked grandma where her journey began and
she told me about where she was from
that the kids were naughty and the sun shone bright
that she learned Dutch in school and spoke it at home at night
she tells me stories of joy

and a long boat trip to here
the touch of the cold is the only negative thing I can hear
Yet
I know she has been in the camps and
I know she did not grow up with her Chinese dad and
I know and
I feel that
she must feel so much more but
all I get to hear are stories about
naughty neighbourhood kids.

Maybe this is a story about a shattered family
Maybe about a happy family who got shattered by crossing the ocean
Maybe I am diving too deep trying to find answers in places that are better left
secret
Maybe I am diving too deep
lost in illusions of identities.

The silence screams in my ear while
the absence overshadows all presences
again I ask my grandma about what had been
almost feeling ashamed of how curious I am
I am afraid I never get to
see what she has seen and
feel what she felt and
hear how it has been
because the answers I do hear are
so short and so light-hearted
I don’t understand
how this weighs so heavy on mine

My Indonesian neighbour gave me a recipe for sajoer lodeh
she also taught me about lempers and tempeh sambal goreng
I cook these proudly
while wearing a headscarf with panther print
my mom later said my great grandma did it like that and
I felt so proud to hear that she did
maybe in my feminine ways our line of women comes back to me
maybe it is crucial to distinguish only one of them was born on this side of the sea
maybe I am trying to see things where one should not bother but
on the other hand
it’s the silenced distance and the distanced silence
that I am bothered by, so
maybe it is right to try and tackle the distance
making the unknown my own by investing
in my grandma and niece
lost times but now well spent
perhaps this way slowly
my feminine family roots will grow back

as well as the stories, trauma but hopefully also the wisdom
so the next line of women grow
stronger
and brighter
looking forward while
being strongly grounded
in all that has been

Personal photographs from Nicole Kuiper.

Nicole (left) and her Indische cousin, Sharel (right), who she met for the first time in 2021.

A portrait of Nicole’s great- grandmother, who migrated from the Dutch East Indies to the Netherlands when her grandmother was 9.

Nicole making sajoer lodeh with tempeh goreng while wearing a headscarf, similarly to her grandmother.

Nicole (right) pictured with her Indonesian neighbour, Esther (middle), and her Dutch husband, Carlo (left). Nicole is being taught how to make sajoer lodeh, lempers and tjendol.

© Nicole Kuiper

<